Angry white chick hates questions

One of those bitching days I think. People make stupid comments and ask stupid questions every day, today is no different but a lack of sleep has made me cranky and if it weren’t frowned upon I think I would smack em.

1. Are you pregnant?
Females of reproductive age suffer this question every time an upset stomach or a food craving occurs. It’s none of your business!

2. When are going to have another baby?
Well I didn’t HAVE a baby in the traditional sense so I won’t be HAVING another thank you. Of course they next question is always why not? Because my uterus has completely decomposed in some medical waste bag!

3. Why did they give her up?
She was not given up, given away, or rejected. It’s none of your fucking business why we are her parents and to insinuate that she was just dumped infuriates me to no end.

4. My cousin, friend, neighbor, etc. got pregnant right after they adopted, bet it will happen to you too.
I think that a severe infection would occur if the Dr put my rotted uterus back in so no I don’t think that will be happening, not really a fan of birthing maggots.

5. You are too young to have hot flashes.
No shit.

6. When are you going to adopt another one?
When you loan me 20K and carry the baby for me.

7. I didn’t know you were pregnant!
This comment always occurs after a co-worker that I don’t speak with about my personal life finds out I have a 1 ½ year old… my response is always “I wasn’t” and then I watch with my twisted humor as their face gets the inevitable questioning look.

8. Date of your last period?
I know the Dr’s office has to ask this, and if I was a new patient I could understand but it’s been almost 2 freaking years, can’t they ever read the damn file first?

9. Are you going to tell her she’s adopted?
Why, are you going to drop the bomb for us? Are you going to tell your kids how much you like anal sex? It’s none of your business!!!!

10. Awe, that’s great we thought about adopting too.
No you haven’t, you do not want a social worker prying into your private life, looking at your finances, checking out how clean your carpet is. Just because the thought crossed your mind one time when you saw Sally trying to convince you to feed an orphan doesn’t count as considering adoption. Stop trying to fit in!

Honestly I don’t mind discussing adoptions, hysterectomies, or astrophysics with sane people, but random strangers making stupid comments and asking rude questions brings out this sick, dark sense of humor and I start babbling about maggots and rotting uterus’ just for the small chance I might actually make someone vomit.

Then I can ask are you pregnant?