Hysterectomy at a glance

I pulled all the old journal entries I could find that pertained to my surgeries in 2004. Figured my Hotflashin' journal would be a good resting place for them. I got a letter from my Dr. last week and he is quitting his practice, going back to school and working as some sort of Dr. Management type thing. He was the best Dr. I have ever had and I am going to miss him... so I decided to look up these old entries and repost them.

Male or Female?
Posted on May 4, 2004 at 3:11 PM
When you go to a Dr do you prefer a male or female?

I personally prefer a male; I find them to be more willing to listen to me and less likely to tell me it`s normal and to just suck it up. Met my OB/GYN (yes probably more info than you wanted) and he kind of reminds me of Christopher Lowell.

My hubby prefers a female..

Free sandwiches and slimey pickles
Posted on May 12, 2004 at 3:17 PM
We walked around the zoo on Monday; had a lovely day. I think we spent more time watching the people there than we did watching the animals.
There were 50 school buses parked outside; the majority of which had students from south of the border. They were LOUD!

There were a lot of baby animals and since it was nice outside they were all out playing; it was the perfect day for zoo watching.

Baby Follies
Posted on May 19, 2004 at 7:11 PM
Last week I had an ultrasound. They found endometrium cysts on both of my ovaries. I think we should have gotten the doctor to print out a picture to give to our parents; maybe it would help stave off the baby nagging.

Better yet I could keep the pictures for myself and every time someone asked when we are going to have kids (every single day by the way) I could whip the picture out and describe what the cysts are in horrid detail. That might stop the questions for at least a couple of hours :).

I could bring a basket of purple grapes to the next family get together and pass them out explaining that they were the cysts that were removed.. OMG I can just picture the horrified faces now... would probably give my grandmother a heart attack though. hmm better not.

You know how PETA throws red paint on people wearing fur? I am going to start throwing formula and dirty diapers at people who ask me when we are going to have kids!

:(
Posted on Jun 21, 2004 at 3:03 PM
I went for my pre-op appointment today. Wasn`t very much fun. I filled out more paperwork than you do when you buy a house!

So Wednesday morning they are going to knock me out and poke around my insides to see what they can see. The Dr. went over the uterus to see what he could see; the other side of the uterus was all that he could see... Who was that band?
ooh now I have that song stuck in my head

I have to go clean the house; people are coming over to visit after the surgery; and of course as all of our mother`s did mine drilled it into my head that you NEVER have a dirty house when company is coming over!

off to do some slave labor

Rummaging around
Posted on Jun 23, 2004 at 10:54 PM
Dr. W. did his rummage today. If I had children already he told my husband he would have just done a hysterectomy today. Apparently 10 years of endometric tissue has done quite a bit of damage. Funny thing is that if I had kids I wouldn`t have gone to see him in the first place. What a day. I got to keep my right ovary at least for a couple more months. He is going to put me into menopause for three months (complete with hot flashes and mood swings) and then go back in and do the "big" surgery. He told my family that he has every confidence that after he gets this all fixed I should be able to have children. I am sure that in another 10 years I will be getting that hysterectomy. I was kind of looking forward to missing out on menopause; but now I get to test drive it :).

p.s. all this information is brought to you second hand courtesy of hubby and my parents.

p.p.s. my belly button is "oozing" right now!

p.p.p.s. Sorry for spelling and grammar; for todays errors I blame the drugs; for past errors I blame this blog for not having spell check in the journal.

OUCH
Posted on Jun 24, 2004 at 7:56 AM
I only got to sleep for 4 hours :( I am not wide awake but I hurt too much to lay back down..this really sucks.

I woke up this morning with Jay leaning his head on his hand and his elbow on my stomach. Plus I was dreaming that I was in a hospital and there was a decomposing corpse laying on the bed next to me. It kept looking at me and no matter how much I cried they wouldn`t take him away. No more scary movies before bed!

My day is not starting off too well; hopefully it will get better.

Pecos special
Posted on Jun 24, 2004 at 11:34 AM
My mother is cooking my favorite dish for me. She can`t make it spicy but it should still be pretty darn good. It`s as unhealthy as it comes! It`s made with spaghetti, cheese, tomato sauce, spices, and chicken....mmmmmm
Oooof
Posted on Jun 25, 2004 at 1:50 PM
Jay takes such good care of me. I woke him up at 7am b/c I wanted some spaghetti and I couldn`t pick up the pot. He got up and got my food for me and took out the nasty smelling trash; he is such a doll!

I am jealous!!
Posted on Jun 26, 2004 at 12:52 PM
Everyone is having fun this weekend and I am too afraid to get in a car.

Our friends are meeting at a bar to celebrate our friends 200th beer there.

My in-laws are flying to NY for a vacation weekend.

My co-workers are gathering tomorrow for a house warming party.

I am stuck here with a really sore back from sleeping on the couch.

Now it`s raining!

Oops
Posted on Jun 28, 2004 at 1:59 PM
I was deleting some pictures; I guess that I grabbed the entire file instead of the few pictures that I wanted. I ended up deleting over 4000 pictures. So stupid!

The only ones that are lost forever were a few Las Vegas pictures and all of my Vancouver pictures. :(

I took on a huge project for my mother-in-law. They had 30 years of pictures tossed into plastic containers and put into really bad photo albums (the evil sticky kind that fall apart). I have been sorting through all of these photos and organizing them into photo boxes and new albums. I have been working on this non-stop since Friday night... and I have seen progress! Hallelujah!

No more rain!!
Posted on Jun 30, 2004 at 5:53 PM
I really wish that it would stop raining!! I am tired of watching water fall from the sky, tired of the hot muggy feeling you get when you walk outside. Rain is supposed to be cleansing; but this is just ridiculous.

I am back at work; sore as hell and sleepy. I am completely useless so I am sitting in the corner playing on the internet.

The rain has made me blahh....

waiting waiting waiting
Posted on Jul 6, 2004 at 10:58 PM
I am sitting here waiting for my jayberoo to come and pick me up. He took me to the DR today for my post-op thingy so I am carless.. carelessly carless. Not to be mistaken with the careless Carlos!

hmmm.. how was my day you ask?

First I had a lovely chat with the doc while sitting half naked on a table for 45min; followed by a lovely pelvic exam.

Then I got to be a condescending bitch to a pilot; I can`t even get him in trouble for being an asshole b/c I was such an asshole back to him..bad customer service.

Next I helped make a decision to bust an FAR; crossing our fingers about the nice little fine that may be incurred for that. And then I had a piece of chocolate cake. YUMMM

Needless to say I can`t wait to go home and be finished with my Monday... which in everyone elses world is a Tuesday, but since I have no Wednesday it all works out.. maybe I should cut down on my sugar intake before rambling on......

Biggest needle Ever
Posted on Jul 23, 2004 at 9:19 PM
I got stuck with a damn big needle today. I am not ashamed to admit that I squealed in fear when I first saw it! Today was my first Lupron shot..ever so exciting. I think that I am the first female in my family to go through menopause (temporarily); all of the others had their insides taken out before they turned 40.

My hip hurts from that shot!

This suxx
Posted on Jul 26, 2004 at 12:52 AM
notice that I used 2 not three x`s.... don`t ask why-I dunno.

I love the 80`s was on today, they did something on the Smurfs. I think it would be hilarious to stop using curse words and insert the word smurf instead. That would probably get people`s attention more than the curse words do.

Anyway the suckage that I was referring to was hot flashes. They are freakin ridiculous! The Dr. said it would take 1-2 weeks before the side effects kicked in, I think I am sensitive to drugs because the first night one hit me like a wall of heat. I was sitting in the living room with everyone chatting and it felt like the room got hot. I sat there and started sweating, Jay noticed and I complained the room was hot. Both he and Rachel gave me the "are you insane?" look and told me the room was cold.
Bloody hell.. three more months of this.....

I finished reading "We Need to talk about Kevin" last night. Pretty good book, it is written from the viewpoint of a mother who`s son went on a shooting rampage at school. Very sad but good. I am onto another book about some MIT students who won a lot of money in Vegas... I think it`s called "Bringing down the House".

Change of plans
Posted on Sep 13, 2004 at 11:54 PM
We decided yesterday that we are going to go to Germany instead of Rome. Jay saw a pbs special about Rothenburg which is a town that is geared towards Christmas... so we are going to go there instead. The plan now is to fly to Frankfurt and drive to Rothenburg.. The pictures there are gorgeous. We are leaving on the 28th.

Yesterday Rachel, Bill, and I went to orientation to volunteer at the Texas Children`s Hospital. I have my interview on the 27th with them...it seems like it will be a lot of fun. The want a 3 hour commitment once a week for 6 months. Good karma points, I think that the first thing I want to do there is hold the babies in the nursery, they have a ton of different things that you can do. Bill will make a good clown.

Today I went and got my last Lupron shot (hopefully). I meet with the doctor on the 27th to do a follow up and schedule my surgery. It`s going to be a very busy week!

Old Ladydom
Posted on Oct 13, 2004 at 5:52 PM
Several things happened this week that I thought would Never occur...
1. taking up Catherines suggestion I bought a crochet kit... everyone is getting scarves for christmas!
2. I officially own a Mumu. No I didn`t pay for it but it is residing in my closet.
3. I have to get old lady underwear... that one is just too depressing to expand upon.

My surgery date is set for November 10th... all of the above is in preparation for that.

Anyone want to come and crochet with me?

Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Posted on Oct 22, 2004 at 5:03 PM
haha that noise tickles...

Last night I got a new program for my computer called Cosmic Paint.. its like doing splatter art with your computer TOOO much fun!!! It`s very addicting.

I also rented a game for the PS2 called Siren.. it was scary so I turned it off. Have to get up some gumption to play it.

I have to start a liquid diet 3 days before my surgery, Rachel has been trying to help find some decent recipes so that it doesn`t completely suck.. hmm Vodka is clear :)

Added a couple of Germany pictures to the gallery..

My first journal entry without a uterus
Posted on Nov 14, 2004 at 9:31 PM
Yep, that`s right you are all reading history in the making. This is the very first journal entry I have written since having my hysterectomy.

I have been dealing with it with humor... my first soda without a cervix, my first chicken without an ovary. Not everyone finds it as funny as I do. Oh well.

I am finally home after my 5 day stay in the hospital. We had such hell with the nurses there, I am glad I will never have to do that again! My epidural didn`t work, it got rid of my pain for the first few hours but that first night I woke up in awful pain. I cried for nearly 12 hours waiting for my doctor to come in. They finally removed my epidural and put me on a morphine drip. That was heavenly! My IV blew out yesterday and they put me on oral meds... not nearly as much fun as my morphine, which I could hit every 10 minutes.

They sent me home with this drain in my side, I will get it taken out next week. It`s really gross b/c I have to flush it out and measure the fluids every day. I offered Jay a shot of my juices.. he declined.

I don`t have to go back to work until Dec 22nd... so I have LOTS of time on my hands... kind of like a kid in a candy store, I don`t know what to do first! Unfortunately the need for sleep creeps up on me awfully fast.

Sleep well to all of you... with or without your ovaries!

The importance of setting an alarm
Posted on Nov 15, 2004 at 10:41 PM
I learned a valuable lesson today. When the directions on the pain medicine say to take them every 3-4 hours you must set an alarm to take them in the middle of the night. I woke up this morning around 11am in the most excruciating horrible pain. I was WAY overdue for taking my meds. I was in so much pain that I wasn`t paying enough attention when I went to the bathroom and I pulled my drainage tube partway out. I had to push it (gently) back in. OMG that hurt!! It only takes once to learn that lesson. Tonight I will be setting no less than 2 alarms.

I can`t wait to feel normal again!

Just a little infection
Posted on Nov 27, 2004 at 3:03 AM
I got home from the hospital yesterday.. again.

My incision became infected and after spending a miserable weekend with a fever of 103 they put me back in the hospital for a lovely 4 days of antibiotics.

The best part is draining my incision. Twice a day I get to take a huge q-tip and shove it around a bit and squeeze out all of the juices I can get. It`s really not as much fun as it sounds :)

I am feeling much better.. still walking funny but any day without having a fever is a good day for me!!

51,291.38
Posted on Dec 2, 2004 at 5:57 PM
That is the current cost of my surgery, not including prescriptions.

I almost fell out of my chair when I calculated it. Thank goodness for insurance!! My responsibility will be $500. (not including prescriptions).

I think I will get that number put on my "1st year without a uterus" christmas ornament.

bleh blah blechhh
Posted on Dec 18, 2004 at 5:04 PM
I had to go to the emergency room last sunday... after 10 hours and LOTS of tests they decided I had pleurisy. I have to say that freakin hurts!!!

I have spent the week resting in bed and recuperating... went to the Dr. on Friday and he said in 2 weeks when I come back he will consider releasing me to normal activities... such as driving!! woohoo!! I haven`t driven a car in almost 6 weeks and I miss it SO much!!

I haven`t been on here much because there is generally nothing to write about, life is pretty boring when all you can do is sit around the house. Television sucks! There are far too many reality shows, I live in reality... I don`t want to watch someone else`s. God bless DVD`s and VCR`s. I watched the entire Twin Peaks series again... that was awesome, made laying in bed not quite so bad.

Hope everyone is well and having a wonderful Holiday Season!

Email posts, apologies to future me for the boring.

Received this email today, it came complete with pictures but I am being lazy so use your imagination. Hmm, which Barbie do I want to be.

In other news I saw that there is now a female beefeater. You go girl!!!

ANNOUNCEMENT: Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Houston Texas market:

"River Oaks Barbie"

This princess Barbie is sold only at The Galleria. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade, Prada and LV Handbags, Rolex watch a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a 25,000 sq ft. patio home. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.

"Spring TX Barbie"

The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

"Aldine Barbie"

This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife,a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) ..unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

"Tanglewood Barbie"

This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of Rolls Royce convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

" Magnolia TX Barbie"

This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

"Memorial Barbie"

This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet prescription available as well as warehouse conversion condo.

" Huntsville Barbie"

This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Butler Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.

"Mid town Barbie"

This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow . She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Mid town Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.

" Tomball Barbie"

This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

"Montgomery Barbie"

She's perfect in every way. We don't know where Ken is because he's always out a-'huntin'.

"Montrose Barbie/Ken"

This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.

Wild Kingdom

I took little bit outside yesterday afternoon to toodle around the yard. The weather was beautiful and the animals were frisky. We were enjoying listening to the birds cheep and watching the squirrels dig up long buried nuts and feast away. We were watching one squirrel in particular because he was fairly close to us, just a few feet down the driveway, cute little grey thing.

He was minding his own business, keeping one eye on us and digging around in the yard when all of a sudden a big black cat pounced from out of nowhere. The cat landed on its back and proceeded to throttle and bite at the squirrels throat. Little bit ran to me wanting picked up b/c she knew something horrible was happening. I walked her into the backyard and out of view until the slaughter was over and the squirrel stopped screaming. Before I released her I stuck my head around the corner to make sure that cat wasn't eating the poor squirrel right there. There was no blood, just a couple of dusty paw prints in the dirt to indicate that anything had been there.

The neighborhood squirrels spent the next 10 minutes perched on their trees yelling at each other about what had happened. "Holy Shit did you see what happened to Joe?" "That cat came out of nowhere!" "Ayup that was old Ray's cat, he never got over the night that the squirrels abducted him." and of course there was one Nilly little squirrel three trees over saying "See kids that is why you always leave a note!"

30 is approaching

Next month I turn 30... (I just threw up in my mouth a little bit)

This impending date is not going over so well.

So I have decided that if I have to turn 30 I need to be in Vegas. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, so if turning 30 happens there then it will stay there!

Then I found out that due to SOMEONES new job I can't turn 30 in Vegas unless I want to be alone. Bah humbug.

I think I will have to make due with the weekend before or the weekend after, either way Vegas is a must, it's a demand, it's an order!