Open adoption and new grief

I sent an email tonight to little A's birthmom and I was thinking about a conversation I had with her when we were ending our visit in January.

This was her fiance's first time to meet little A, and after dropping us off he cried. At some point during our journey we have all cried, alone and together. It was our journey and the choices that we made together as a family were hard, for S, for little A, for her family, for us and our family, we all grieved. It was the happiest time for us but at the same time it was very very sad. We have an amazing relationship with little A's birthfamily, but there are still tears at times.

Anyway, back to my point, her fiance was crying because now he has joined in the grief. He loves her so much and though he was not in the picture at the time of the adoption, he is now part of the family. He sees little A, sees how much she looks like S, and the decisions that were made 4 years ago hurt his heart.

It is an amazing journey we embarked upon 4 years ago, and every day we grow and learn from it.