Sick sub sucks snot

F-er got me sick, guess he sneezed on the remote or something and and now I am drowning in a sea of snot.

If I say that out loud it sounds like "F-er got be sick, guess he sdeezed od the rebote or sobething and dow I ab drowding id a sea of sdot".

Last night hubby and I were debating whether or not to watch a 2nd movie, I told him I was running out of time before I had to go to sleep. He said what is tibe? F-ers everywhere.

I came to work like a good girl to take care of the bidness that needs done for meetings and such today and hopefully when the boss lady gets here I can take the rest of the day as a sick call.

On a brighter note yesterday when I first started getting sick I was at a meeting where all the big whigs were. I shook all their hands so I may have single handedly taken down an airline by spreading my germs... world domination one virus at a time.

Peace out
(beese oud)

Too much sleep

Is it possible to really go too much sleep? After the way I feel today I have to say yes. My back hurts, my neck is sore...causing a headache and I can't stop yawning. 11 hours last night, mostly uninterupted and I have a sleep hangover. Yes there are worse things in life, hot flashes for example. Speaking of.. I have to get my estrogen refilled ASAP. They are starting to come more and more regularly and let me tell ya there is nothing better than sitting in a meeting with the big wigs and sweating your boobs off. BLLEEECCHHH. Nothing says loving like a sweaty Mommy... I wonder why they don't pay me more :) Work is good, getting better but can't say why yet. Good news is coming.

Weekend trip to Galveston was a BLAST! We took full advantage of no responsibilites. Veered off to look at anything we wanted, lingered in antique stores with no worries of breakage. Went out for drinks like REAL adults. Ordered pizza for delivery at 1:30 in the morning and munched on it while watching out of our hotel window at someone getting bitch slapped by a drunk girl. Woke up late and wandered down to the beach. It was FABOO. Travelling with my friend is like taking along a celebrity in the hotel world. She has done so much travelling for work that when we checked in they had wine, fruit, and a lovely little note addressed to her waiting in our room. Oh God the room.. we stayed at the Tremont Hotel in Galveston. It's a block off the strand and it's fabulous. We had a sitting room, a bar, a huge bathroom and 2 queen size beds. 20 foot ceilings allowed us to jump on our respective beds like little school girls without the worry of cracking skulls. The roof has a bar/patio area with a lovely view of the city, we took full advantage. We were both happy to go home to our kids and hubbies but for a good 24 hours it was so nice to just be with another female and talk and talk and talk.
Girly Time=Good time!

Peanut Butter Jelly Time

The days just go and go. They all seem to be the same sometimes. Work is work, not much to say there. Home is home, not much to say there either. I am looking forward to my Galveston trip, and I am looking forward to a change in my work schedule, but other than that there is just not much going on.
Maybe it’s the lack of meds, sleep, or the impending cold that I am barely keeping at bay but I just feel BLEHHHHH.
I should call and get my hormones refilled and see if they will mail them to me so I don’t have to drive across Houston, but I am so bleh that I don’t have the mental energy that it would take to dig through my purse and find the numbers.
This really does not make for an interesting read… so sorry.. although there is really no one to apologize to, it’s an apology to my future self who is going to read this and go Good Lord Girl get off your ass!
The office nazi just walked by and glared at me…I dared bother him today to change my shitty phone. I know, the gaul, disturbing someone who is so busy!
Future me I sincerely apologize for this dull post, but at least it is something.

Memorializing old Journals

I have a half dozen old journals piling up in my room. The first one was started around 1st grade, its great trying to interpret the spelling and bad handwriting. The most recent one is from around the time we found out about our daughter. The problem with all of these is that I have a problem with consistency. I started the journals and wrote 5-10 entries and that is it, for EACH one. Oh and in each of them I vow to write every day, of course the entry after the vow takes place 1-5 years later. Good Job!

I love buying them though; there is just something so irresistible about a blank book that has the potential to hold all of your thoughts, hopes, and dreams. A month or so ago I saw a clip on the news about a bar in NY(?) that has journal slams. People gather and read aloud what their adolescent self wrote. Personally I think it’s brilliant, I am sure we could all save thousands in therapy reading our private thoughts and laughing with a room full of people.

Anyway, I was thinking about typing up all of these half-assed journals, adding a cute cover and printing them all into 1 book. Of course I would keep the originals.

I am just adding to the list of projects that I never seem to have time or energy for.
1.) Making a book out of the emails between us and our daughter’s birth mom from the 1st year.
2.) Getting pictures sized and printed for a little mini-calendar
3.) Turn old journals into book
4.) Get all of our daughters pictures printed and put into photo albums

Somewhere between working, eating, sleeping, raising my daughter, my marriage, relaxing, and family I need to win the lottery and hire someone to work for me.

New office

Agoraphobia

Our new office is wide open, tall ceilings, large windows, lots of space between desks. I am used to working in the “cave” and the new place is taking a bit to get adjusted to. I am loving the new fast computers and awesome keyboards. Oh and the ice cream machine! (A co-worker just mentioned that we are all going to be big fat cows)

My little girl was sick with a fever on Saturday and Sunday. Took her to the Dr. on Monday and she was fine. Always happens like that. She had a 104 temperature Saturday night so we did the cool bathwater thing, didn’t work just made her shiver a lot. She spent the entire weekend attached at my hip, she absolutely did not want to let go this morning… broke my heart but Momma’s got to work.

Roomie is coming to terms with the ghost in his bathroom, I think he still has the night light that he snagged from the living room. Hubby is chomping at the bit to put up the Halloween decorations; the baby is already expressing her dislike to some of our decorations. She doesn’t like bugs either, when she finds one in the house she stands over it and yells bug until someone disposes of it for her. There is a piece of confetti in the shape of a spider that she found, she calls it “pider” and gets upset until it disappears.

I am dying to have a girls night out. A hotel room in Galveston with no hubbies or babies in sight sounds divine. I love my husband and my daughter but Momma needs a break, a break to not be a Momma or Wife for the night. Maybe then Momma can stop referring to herself in the third person.

Overdose

After updating the two other blogs I am blogged out.

The wee little one was ill this morning. She woke me up way early with her head heating up my arm. No other signs of illness besides the fever so our best guess is she is getting new teeth.

Hope she doesn't start biting!

Poor Philly learned about the little old lady that lived in his bathroom today. She is not there much anymore and now that he knows I will get around to elaborating on that ghost story.

Good times

I am off to enjoy my weekend.

9/11

Where were you on 09/11/01?

A question that I hear more and more as the anniversary draws near.

I was at home sleeping; I worked the night shift so it was unheard of for me to get up before 11:30. We lived with hubby’s parents at the time and they were both at work. Around 9:30 the house phone rang and rang and rang until I finally got up and answered it. It was my father babbling about planes being hijacked and the world trade centers being on fire. I was confused, I went back and lay in bed and turned on the TV. and watched the horror unfold. It was shortly after the 2nd plane hit that we started watching. Then they started scrolling across the screens buildings downtown that had been evacuated. I was surprised and elated to see my buildings address scroll by, kind of like a snow day for school. About 5 minutes later the secretary called to advise me that I did have to come to work as scheduled. I watched the towers fall, the Pentagon get hit and Flt 93 hit the ground before I got dressed and drove to work. All radio stations were playing was commentary about the events. As I drove to work family members were calling and talking to Jay, crying and upset about the fact that I had to go to work. Nonessential personnel were sent home, I don’t fall into that category.

At work I found an empty building but our floor was buzzing with activity. It was a long day figuring out where crews were and getting them all hotel rooms, and trying to figure out how long it was going to be until they flew again. At one point during the night the floor was very quiet, dispatch had gone home b/c they had nothing to do, and we all had our radios on our desks so we could listen to the news. We knew that nothing was supposed to be in the air, working in a skyscraper you are still a bit weary, around 10pm a military jet buzzed by our building—everyone working hit the floor. Somewhere deep in our psyche it was imbedded that stop, drop and roll would save your life so instinctively that is what we did. We worked till our normal time and then left… no point in killing ourselves with overtime when nothing was flying anyway. As the days progressed I heard more and more stories from our pilots and flight attendants about what they saw, where they were, and how hard some of them worked at ground zero.

I worked on 9-11, 12, 14, 16, 17, and 18 then I went on vacation to Hawaii. Hawaii was surreal, the security measures at the airport were still very new, and the mood was somber to say the least. When we got to Oahu we found that a lot of hotels had closed down, flags were still at half mast. The Pearl Harbor memorial had just opened the day before we went due to the fear that terrorists were going to attack again. When we left Hawaii we were greeted at the security gates by armed guards and my sister-in-law found out that she no longer had a job.

Before 9-11-01
I was 24 years old.
I had been married for 4 almost years.
Children were on the horizon, but still far enough away that we weren’t worried about it.
I had worked for the airline for less than a year.
After 9-11-01
Traveling standby was easier since everyone was afraid to fly.
A ton of people at my company, including the majority of the people in my department and my sister-in-law lost their jobs.
I received a promotion and a raise.
We were able to afford to move out of hubby’s parent’s house.

It’s not heroic, to anyone outside my family it’s probably not even that interesting… but there it is for the record.

Out of practice,birthparents, menopause, and such

It's been a long time since I have consistently written anything; I need to get back in practice.

I had a lovely evening, hubby and baby went off to the football game and I got to come home and go straight to bed. I woke up a few hours later in my work clothes with the realization that I forgot to eat dinner. I grabbed a yogurt, a book, my jammies, and lay down for about 30 seconds before I went out again. Yesterday was rough I tell ya!

_________________________________________________________
The birthfather emailed me today; he usually just sends a form letter that I think his computer is set to send once a month. Hi, how are you, is she driving you crazy yet, everyone is good, talk to you soon form letter. The driving you crazy thing always puzzles me, why on earth would we adopt a child just to be driven crazy? Maybe he assumes that since Andrea Yates is from TX we must all be whacky down here. Dun no. Anyway today's letter veered away from the form letter a bit so I think he actually sat down and wrote it. Shocking, I know. I feel a bit like a stalker but I scan the newspaper from his small town all the time to see if he has committed any crimes lately.... or even gone to trial or anything for what he was arrested for. So far nothing, but I did find a court transcript from someone he busted back when he was a cop. Even in the "just the facts ma'am" format of court documents his personality shines through. No comment on which area it's shining from.

The birth mom is a doll as always, how those two hooked up is beyond me. She is great and so so so sweet, hopefully we will get to see her this month.

_________________________________________________________
Hormones are fabulous, keeps the hot flashes at bay and make me feel a bit more normal... less like an old lady who switched bodies with a yung'n. I have noticed that my bond with older women has been solidified, they start moaning about fatigue, flashes, and the entire lovely array of complaints that accompany menopause and I am right there with them. I have lost touch with my counterparts though. When the moans about periods and pms start I just can't relate anymore... it really is a distant memory that is fading every day—a great side effect of menopause, can't remember a damn thing!

Oh, another great thing about menopause this young, the shock factor. Many a nurse has given me the crazy look when they ask when my last period was ... the answer is July 2004... you can see them doing the math in there head, their eyes go wide, eyebrows go up, and then they ask about the hysterectomy. Nothing makes you feel like a good old circus freak than making a nurse have the "shocked" look. Makes we wonder what they do if you go in with something really nasty.
_________________________________________________________
Last book read
Kiss Me, Kill Me by Ann Rule
It was great, if you are in to True Crime, but I don’t recommend reading it before bed, especially when you have to walk out to your car by yourself really early in the morning. All of a sudden there is a serial killer, a mass murder, and a stalker sitting in your backyard waiting for you to be alone so they can hack you to death. As you make purchases at the convenience store you realize that if you are abducted they will be tracing you back to the Mountain Dew you just purchased. People will be watching you on the video surveillance cameras tracking everything that you have done over the past few days. Hope you haven’t picked any wedgies!

I think I need to take a break from the True Crime and macabre and focus on something happy and flowery. I need sunshine, butterflies and rainbows. Little bunnies hopping around with daisy chains around their necks. I think that this break would last all of 10 minutes; who really wants to read about butterflies and bunnies, I get plenty of that from reading my daughter her books.

Speaking of her books I think that Dr. Seuss was a sadist. Have you ever tried reading his books out loud, your tongue gets tied into knots that are so tight you could scream from the pain. You can almost hear him cackle in his grave every time you slip up and say a “naughty” word while you are trying to muddle through “one fish, two fish”.

Mother’s out there are gasping, how could ANYONE say ANYTHING bad about Dr. Seuss???!!! Mother Goose is worse, there are nursery rhymes in there that are so sick I just can’t read them to my baby, and Winnie the Pooh is just as bad. Have you ever read Curious George out loud? Try doing it with the voice of a pedophile; yup those books are f-d up too! Some may say it’s just my twisted mind perverting those books, if the books weren’t perverted they couldn’t be twisted!

Ok, enough for today one shouldn’t use up all their writing at once, it’s going to look like I had a premature ejaculation in my blog if I don’t write again for a week.

In the beginning

My old blog won't let me update at work, unacceptable, so I have to start all over. I guess eventually one day I could get off my lazy bum and move it here.

My little munchkin stayed at her grandparents again last night. It's too hard chasing her and taking care of hubby, or chasing her away from hubby's drinks/candy/etc. He had surgery on his shoulder on Monday so he is a bit gimp this week.

Ok, today's is going to be short so I can get this goofy thing set up.