I read a f-n book!

Depression sucks ass.  I love reading and depression always takes away my ability to read a book.  I have gone through a really bad bout over the past 6 months... really bad and for no reason.  No trigger, no trauma, just my stupid flippin brain.  Being a Wife and Mother adds guilt to the depression, which makes it worse and it spirals out of control until you get to a point where you realize that the only time you have felt joy all week was when you were contemplating disappearing into the woods and not exhisting.  Glad I am past that point, dragging myself by my fingernails out of dark rotted well I have fallen into.

So after 6 months I finally finished a freaking book!  YAY!  It was a long book too, Columbine.  Granted not the happiest topic ever but it got me interested enough to slog through it.  Now I can start tackling the 60+ books that have backed up on my shelves waiting for me to get over myself.

Blogging block

I have been remiss in updating my poor defenseless blog. A friends excitement about his new block reminded me that I even have one!

After 3 weeks away from home visiting family and friends Little A and I are spending the day cleaning and organizing a huge mess, and here she comes now showing me how cute she is with 30 hair ribbons and clips in her hair.

She is also requesting an escort to the girls room so I am off....

Hair chopping

I had my hair cut off today, around 7 inches was removed. ... my head feels lighter, lighter=happier. Yeehaw baby

Funny but not profound

I met someone at a bookstore today and just finished reading her blog, before sending her a message though I peeked at my blog (it was been a while!) to see if there was anything shameful before revealing my blog to her.

Her blog is amazing, deep, insightful and well written. Mine is funny, a bit vulgar, and choppy. I think I keep this blog more as a short handed reminder of events to myself than anything. My memory has gotten so bad that I am really glad that I have the blog! I debated all evening about whether or not to send her a message, and then it hit me... as Popeye put it I yam what I yam.

I need to grow, I am growing, and I need to be more open to growing. I avoid talking to people to such a degree that it is almost a phobia. I can't say it is really a side effect of not working, I was like this at work as well, I was just in a position that I was forced to communicate with others. Now that I am not forced to, I just don't. I have introverted to the point I don't even blog anymore.

Talking to my new aquaintance today was probably the first time I have talked to a "stranger" voluntarily in 2 years. YEARS!! Okay, that may be an exaggeration, I do have to speak when ordering food, and I talk to people at school when directly asked a question, I am not rude. But I have not sought out any friendship outside my tiny little island in a very long time. Sasquatch ruined it for me.

Imatwat

Major faux pas this week.

Little bro's girlfriend was telling me about setting their wedding date and informing me of being her bridesmaid earlier this week. I am excited for them, so excited in fact that Monday while at my parents house I told my mom about it.... Mom was shocked, Dad thought I was joking, little bro has failed to mention to our parents that he is getting married! DOH As soon as I got home I called him with a heads up and a promise to buy them 2 wedding gifts. I guess they got a phone call later that night from the parents.... DOH DOH DOH epic fail on my part.

Oh well, I hope they have a long and happy life together... good job little bro! I call him little bro but he is 28 so not really that little. He and the fiance just moved into their new apartment this week, big stuff for little bro!

Bada Bing

I am watching Season 1 of the Brady Brunch, LOVING IT! I have noticed they reference pharmaceuticals quite a bit, tranquilizers, sleeping pills... just talk about it in passing, no biggy. Now we know the secret to the happy family, tranquilizers and sleeping pills. Should have found the fun family secret YEARS ago!!

The need

I NEED to travel, it is an addiction that is rearing its ugly head lately. This addiction is not sated with a trip to the beach down the seat. This addiction is only satisifed when passports are used, bags are packed and I am out of contact with everyone for 3-5 days. Good food must be eaten, friends must have discussed every topic known to man and many books must be read before the travelling time is over.